Would I do it all over again?
A reflective look
back
NO. I wouldn’t do it
all over again.
I would not chose to be the low-self-esteem, no confidence
person that let life and people emotionally and sexually abuse me.
I would of used the word NO more often.
The only part of my life that I would do over is have my son
and accept my step son into my life.
Hindsight shows me all the ways I didn’t value myself and my
abilities. I had no confidence and no
one to pump me up.
Now, I can see what my poor choices took away from me.
I am now re visioning my life to be what I am capable of and
without destructive people in it.
Having my sons was the best part of my life, it forced me to
grow up.
No it forced me to look at all of the dysfunctional, negative,
self – depreciating ways that I REFUSED to have be a part of my sons lives.
It is said we are the sum of our all of our experiences,
that they shape us into who we are. But some
of those experiences I could of done without if I had had proper role models
who cared, truly cared for me.
It is why parenting is a sacrifice.
Why?
In order to support and nurture a growing
human being we have to put our child before ourselves. Not all the time, but enough.
I feel like I am still becoming who I was meant to be.
And at least is this part of the journey I can walk away
from what will give me pain.
Pain is no longer necessary for me to realize I am
alive. I don’t need someone to treat me
badly as a way to get attention.
NO ONE CAN TREAT ME BADLY ANYMORE.
