I Love Men - especially when they are little

I love men, especially when they are little.  They let me dress them, chose the style of their hair, give hugs and kisses freely (and often).  I love men when they are little, they listen more so than not, wash up when I say, and hold their women (mother) in highest regard.  I love men when they are little, they are straight forward: “I’m hungry, I want that toy, please take me to the toy store, park, pool, read the story for the millionth time.  Little men are so much easier to deal with than grown ones.  You know where you stand. 

I am grateful for the men in my life.  My sons, my son’s father, my father, grandfather, my friends, the lovers: the men who have guided me along on my path.

Men can be difficult to understand, decipher, communicate and co-exist with: but I LOVE them.  Sometimes they drive me crazy but the men that live in my world, I would fight for and defend any and every day. 

In the gym I watch men pumping iron, flexing and trash talking.  Is it the testosterone that has them there working so hard or do they need the endorphin rush that I get?

I observe them when they are shopping, different from how we women shop, they don’t chatter about what they are looking at.  There is no “will it fit, make my butt look big, small”, I don’t think they wonder like that or if they do they don’t show it.

My sons hate it when I use my “teacher” voice. But that is apart of who I am.  I am working on it.  Maybe I am too easy going, maybe I am too nice – I don’t like to yell or fight. I don’t know – this is an area of development for me.

I have a hard time with grown men.  I get shy, I don’t say everything I want to say, I say too much.  It is the most difficult dance for me.  I keep trying.

Rainbow spiral
watercolor on watercolor paper
2010

I am in this evolving space where I would like to have that man that is my friend, my confidante and so, so, so much more. And yet it eludes me.  I will keep working on it. Maybe in this lifetime it will come to me.

I have some good stories about men I have met and have heard some good stories...maybe I will tell a few, on another day.