Twenty thirteen

Love
collage on wood
12/2013

What a year!!!!!

I started in a place with misgivings and uncertainty in certain areas of my life and have moved to another place filled with hope and possibilities!!

         I have embraced parts of myself that I let go off and had not tended to for a long time.

People that I care about have passed on to another existence leaving a beautiful memory, reminding me of who I am.

I stepped into a new beautiful new experience letting go of the gym and gymrats. I guess to embrace something NEW we have to let go of that which doesn’t serve us anymore.

         I found YOGA.  And I love it everyday.  And it is beginning to change me as I take the risk of connecting deeper with myself through movement and breath. I love going through a vinyasa or chaturanga, even if I am still not so strong in it.  I love rising up in warrior 2, I feel exultant and powerful.  Like I have climbed a mountain and through hard work got to the top.  I love camel’s pose and opening my heart. 

         I did some traveling for fun and visited a city I never thought in a million years that I would enjoy. NYC!!!! Yeah that’s crazy.  I loved being there, I saw 2 shows, and visited Chelsea and mid town.

It was so fabulous, to be somewhere just for fun.  I walked so much, I dressed like I did in college and loved being there. 

         I am dealing with my food issues.  I took a Giant leap and released myself from eating fruit everyday.  I realized I was strangling myself with sugar.  We will see what the blood work reveals when I get tested again. Still love roasted brussel sprouts and Persian cucumbers.

         I found out I am a strong woman, rooted to a core of strong values.One of being do no harm. Inside I often feel like a little girl who needs someone to protect her, but the reality is I always

WOMAN UP.   I handle my business and even better take responsibility for the actions I make in the world.

         Devotional love, I am still pondering what that means and connect it to unconditional love and higher love and love with no limits, boundaries, contracts, restraints or tethers.  I am accepting that kind of love and giving that kind of love.

         I still love little human beings.  My gosh, they make the difference in so much of life for me.  I have to remember to never let that go.  That unconditional devotional love I have for nurturing life.

         Which brings me to adults and their words.  I had some counsel that turned out to be incorrect time line wise.  It hurt like the dickens. I am learning that sometimes one has to let go of people and situations that aren’t healthy, that feels lonely. But my survival is more important than letting someone drag me down. And the flip side of that coin is there are people just waiting to connect with me on a deeper level.

         I am a strong woman, I keep on going, I don’t let the morass of indecency get me down too long. I want to translate that strength to my physical form, to my emotional form, to my spiritual form. I want to be strong enough to move my body through life.  Yoga helps me do that.  My mind focuses, my breath gets me through and my body participates.

My goals for 2014 –

Live, Love, Laugh, Be

Be in the moment, be in the now.

Live like I love my life and all of the people inhabiting it.

Nothing without Joy

 

Spiral
watercolor on watercolor paper

What is joy?

A feeling, a giddiness, a resonance with the mind body and soul.

A beingness of happiness and pleasure.  Delight.

What does it mean to say nothing without joy?

To me it means to do what I must do with a light heart, even if the situation is heavily emotionally laden.

It can happen through the flow of time and space that we encounter challenges to this lighthearted way of being.

And that is where the learning is…..can we gracefully flow through the challenge in front of us?

It takes a great deal of effort, focus and discipline.

One has to remember not to let the situation affect our personal joy but find strength in having that (joy) as a foundation.

I have been tested.  I discovered that Epsom salt baths help to relieve the tension that can build up in my soft tissues.

I discovered that healing music and support my mind in staying focused on what is true.

AND, AND AND I remembered that everyone is doing the best they can do right here, right now. AND, AND,  that helped me with being calm and knowing this will all pass.

My goal for this year is joy. To be and do with joy and to spread joy in anyway I can.

Balance - find centeredness

I am learning, to breathe and stay centered in my truth. I am remembering my purpose and what the meaning of my life is about.  And that helps me stay centered as I travel through the experiences around me.

Authenticity....find yourself

Authenticity.

letting yourself be yourself.  letting the beauty that you feel inside shine through to others.

Not being afraid to do what you want.  We are all love.  Love is our essence.

when we let go of that which does not serve us, we find grace, love, and authenticity.

I am in my fourth day of a thirty day yoga challenge.  I like putting stickers on a chart, I like extrinsic rewards.  Although the intrinsic ones warm my heart and boost my confidence.

beauty...just is

beauty,

inside,

outside,

a smile,

a touch,

a feeling,

a thought, 

a concept,

a piece of music,

a painting,

gazing at the beach,

looking at young children,

looking at people just being who they are,

stretching oneself,

opening to the beauty of the scent of a rose, 

the flow of a yoga class,

our children growing,

someone saying something kind,

staying in the moment,

staying in the process,

beauty

NYC day four....Last day

Last full day in NYC.  

The weather was gorgeous, just a breeze blowing, not to hot, just right.

I took the subway!!!! It wasn't bad.

Went to Momofuku's for noodles and buns.  This was the meal I couldn't wait to have.  Then Milk for desert. 

I got lost on the way back, ended up in Chinatown, just got a cab.  

What I wore:  Long tiered peasant skirt (sort of batik print with greens and blues) with white knit blouse with purple embroidery, green converse all stars. 

NYC... day three

NYC day three…

Beautiful morning, hiked up to a Whole Foods, weird to shop in a grocery store on levels!!

Found a beautiful farmer’s market, in Union Square, loved walking around looking at the fruits and veggies and people.Went back to Chelsea Market, I like that neighborhood.
What I wore:  Black harem yoga pants, gray knit peasant blouse, purple sneakers.

Saw the Book of Morman on Broadway.  What a hoot!!!satire at it’s best.  Just rip roaring funny!

Hard rock café for dinner, had a good time with my son. We laughed, we talked.
What I wore:  Paisley red long skirt with gray knit peasant blouse, floral espadrilles.

NYC 2nd day - Museums, Highline, Walking

NYC 2^nd day

The day started with a cab to Chelsea, when the driver said we were there it was hard for me to get out of the cab.  I went to starbucks and got a iced decaf sugar free latte then headed into the Chelsea market until it was time.  

Found the Chelsea Market! A little bit of everything I can afford!! Clothes, food, jewelry, little bags with quotes.  I just loved it and am going back. 

The Highline was a fabulous walk! The flowers are beginning to wilt, it’s the end of the summer the sky was overcast but it was perfect for me. I didn't walk the whole thing, but enough to get a feel for it.
What I wore:  Vintage rayon floral dress and grey espadrilles with bright orange piping.

I took Taxis – not ready to brave the subway!!

Then I went back to my hotel, rested and went to the Whitney and then to the Met. Walked from the Whitney to Met and passed Central Park, at night the Met was alive with lots of people, sitting on the steps listening to a jazz musician.  The night is alive here in the city that doesn't sleep.

It was a good busy day, tomorrow a musical Book of Mormon and more to see.

What I wore:  Black yoga harem pants, gray J.Crew t with sequins, purple sneakers.

NYC... concrete jungle where dreams are made.....

NYC 

First impressions:

It is noisy, dirty and filled with people moving at an incredible speed.

Love my hotel. Sweet, lovely soft bed, fabulous shower, nice staff.

What  I did:  locate the Broadway district so I could get a ticket to see Cinderella ( a not so expensive one, seeing Book of Mormon on Saturday).

Got lost trying to get back to the hotel.  Began to panic. Was tired from airplane, and movement to get here. Eventually found my way back.

What I wore on the plane:  black leggings, black t-shirt dress with white long sleeve shirt, tennis shoes, lavender –ish scarf.

Carried socks for the plane to sleep in.

What I wore to the theater: vintage blue and white sundress and green converse low tops.  This is new york!!! People put effort into what they are wearing.  I want to too.  I brought vintage dresses, sneakers and espadrilles.

My flight was fabulous, sat next to a woman returning from New Zealand and a guy returning from business trip.  I catnapped my way to NYC.  I did power nap for three hours after I got my ticket to the show.  My other plan was to take a boat ride, have to revisit that, weather was not co-operative.  My suitcase broke!! No wheels on one side, tough to drag, gotta figure that out as well.

More to see tomorrow