What do you have faith in?

watercolor on watercolor paper
12/2012

Today I was asked that question at the Café Gratitude.  Their dishes are called I am grateful, thankful, present, open etc.  It is a vegan restaurant, beautiful ambiance.  The food was okay I have eaten better vegan food. 

But the question really intrigued me, because I love asking questions.

And that is a good one to ask ponder and figure out how to answer.

What do I have faith in?

 I have faith in god.  I have faith in believing that if I pay attention to what is going on around me, I can be centered and balanced and deal with what comes my way.  I have faith in time healing all wounds.

 I have faith in love: unconditional love, I have faith in optimism and keeping the heart chakra open. 

I have faith in the ability humans have to heal from pain: mental, physical, emotional and otherwise.

I have faith in believing in the healing powers of prayer, mantra and meditation.

I have faith in my intuition.  If I trust myself usually I am right.

I have faith in my breath, if I keep breathing I can  get through it.

What do you have faith in?

Chaos - creative chaos

“In chaos, there is fertility.”  - Anais Nin

Living in chaos, creative chaos can be exhausting, exhilarating and inspiring.  That is kind of how things have felt for me.

Juggling work, working out, eating well, sleeping, being creative,

Supporting the development of young children, my sons, carving out time to read romance novels and chill. 

I have been on a wild ride, holding on for dear life and enjoying every minute of it. 

I love what I do.  I wake up each morning with gusto ready to serve and experience the daily interactions I am going to have with people. Children, adults: some happy, some cranky, some learning, some challenging but I wake up ready to deal with what comes my way.

It’s what I do.  I love working with people.  I love being with young children.  They are always right there in the present. 

My work is creative and intellectual.  At least that’s how I describe it.

Coming up with ideas and experiences that support children in growing.  I strive for my work to be mindful, respectful, developmental and inspiring.  And that sometimes means I exhaust myself and sometimes flounder.

Sometimes I get these great ideas for my blog, while I am driving, teaching, taking a bath and don’t write them down right away.  Then I forget. 

I am a worrier, I worry about everything.  I pay attention to everything.  How people are perceiving what I am saying, doing, where they are when they come into my presence. 

And then I process it all through my filters.  Thus my teaching comes from a place where I try to be as mindful as I can.  As gentle as I can.

I strive to be a tool of kindness, clarity and clearness.  No need to be harsh to get the message across. 

Thus I live in chaos when everything gets going.  I am running here, I am running there, actually I amble here, I amble there, always peacefully and with as much grace as I can muster. 

‘We live in a rainbow of chaos.’

-               Cezanne

My Greatest Earthly Joy

Peace and Love
mixed media on canvas 2012

What is your greatest earthly joy?

my greatest earthly joy is twofold.....

What I think about are my sons.

What beautiful young men they are, about my journey in raising them. 

It isn’t easy being a parent.

 It isn’t easy ever and is the most demanding work one can do on this planet. At the same time it is the most rewarding. 

The perks come in little bits: words like I love you, you’re the best mom, handmade gifts and unexpected hugs. 

When they were little, there was all the crying, the tantrums, refusals to go some place or do something new.  My patience was tested beyond what I thought I was capable of handling. 

At the end of the day, I am so happy with my children.  I am happy knowing I did everything I could to make their world be a beautiful place.  I made many sacrifices and the results tell the story.  My son’s like each other and consider each other best buds and I know they will be connected through out their lives.

Parenting is the one experience we have in our life for which the guidelines are huge and gray.  What works for one child doesn’t always work for another, somehow we get through it.

Parenting is actually about our children being our teachers. 

They can help us grow as people. If we take the time to slow down, see who they are, what they are experiencing, how we can make things more organized, organic, loving, focused, disciplined, clear so that they can find their way, we find our way.

The selflessness required to raise independent, caring, competent people is hard.  Putting someone else’s needs before our own, a challenge, but I think that is what makes for great parenting. 

I don’t mean this in an extreme, parents need some time out of the chaos to recharge the batteries. 

It is intense, the crying, the screaming, the demanding….. in hindsight I loved every minute of it, even though at the time I didn’t think I could survive another minute without a glass of wine, a bath, a break.

And yet with my sons both in their twenties, their twenties!! I look back on the time, the time spent loving them, fretting about them, shuttling them around for sports and lessons, arguing to get household jobs done and realize they are my greatest earthly joy.

When I am out, I observe parents toting their little ones, bigger ones walking a few steps ahead with a spring in their step, little guys wearing their first baseball uniform families beginning their journey.  I smile, I have walked in their steps and made it through.  They will make it through, we all do.

What are your greatest earthly joys?