Summer Inspiration

two beautiful things about So. Cal and having an iphone that takes panoramic pictures, just playing.

feels good to just play.

Who do you trust?

Who do you trust?

Who do you know will have your back if you get hurt, incapacitated or sick?

I just asked myself this question when thinking about some of the people that I know.  And I realized I can’t depend on them for anything: moral support, emotional support or even real friendship.

And that got me thinking about why I give or have given these people power over me to hurt me emotionally. And I realized it had to stop. STOP!!!

I reach out to people, thinking we can have a nice time together and it is not reciprocated. 

The most important relationship I must build is my relationship with God.  If I die tomorrow, will any of these things matter?  Will any of these people matter?  They won’t.  it will not be important or bring any bearing to my life. 

What will matter is how did I treat the people I come in contact with? 

Was I kind and loving to the best of my ability?

None of this means that it doesn’t hurt to feel rejected, it is important to realize that more important than my relationship with these people is my relationship with God.

 And with myself.

I deserve to have people in my life that want to be in relationship with me and not people who don’t.

It is important for me at this juncture of my life to recognize there are people out there that don’t like me and I don’t have to be liked by everyone.  I don’t like or connect with everyone and that is the way of life.  I don’t want to waste any more of my precious time on this earth worrying about who does and does not like me or think I am worthy to hang out with.  I am worthy of all I want and desire on this planet.

Make your soul visible

Watercolor on watercolor paper collaged

Being who we really are is letting our light shine in the world.  Let your light shine, be your

authentic self.

Inspired by Maya Angelou

I am in love with these words spoken by Maya Angelou.  I think we could all live by them more graciously.  It would be a call to mindfulness on the highest level.

She was a great lady.  She was strong and she survived stuff that would stunt a weak person.

She is great inspiration for me, I have survived some horrible s**t too.

How did you let someone know you cared for them today? Who did you let know you loved them?

Who did you say a kind word to that may have lifted up their spirits?

LOVE is a Verb

watercolor on watercolor paper manipulated in Photoshop 8/2014

 

 

 

This has been the most amazing time of my life:

This journey that I have been on has recently had the high of highs:

My youngest son graduated from college.

We made it to this part of the continuum.

I cannot begin to describe all of the emotions that I have felt.

I set out on a journey with a new baby and a five year old step-child, no idea where the journey is going to take us, what experiences I was going to have along the way and end up with 2 young adults; two beautiful young men in heart and body.

I started menopause the year the young one graduated from high school.  Talk about being on a roller coaster ride!! I could not of timed that transition like that. 

Going through the peri menopausal years?  I felt strong, whole, happy, powerful.  I worked out, I worked at work that I felt was meaningful and loved.  I loved my life and woke up everyday to say that.  I got a divorce from my sons father.  It was peaceful.

I learned more about myself. 

I was ready to let go of the crutch that I had been holding on to: a broken dysfunctional relationship.

It is said that we live vicariously through our children.  I don’t think I lived through them as I sacrificed for them.  I made our home a sacred place where they could be safe and have a place to grow.

A place to grow into fine young men.

Their father didn’t agree with that value and he was and can still be awful.  (you never know about someone when you first meet them and connect).  I got out of that so they could have some place sane to grow and I could have a safe place to grow them.

I know that there are places that he emotionally hurt them and I hope time heals that for both of them.

My oldest son lost his mother at 12.  That has shaped a lot of who he is.  I loved him the moment I set eyes on him when he was five and have been with him through his journey and know that amazing things are in store for him.

The boys had normal sibling stuff, and now are the best of buddies.  I always wished and prayed for them to be buddies as well as brothers, to have each other’s back in life’s ups and downs.

My older son actually really was a great support for my younger son as we navigated life with a dysfunctional father figure.  For that I am eternally grateful.

Which found my older son and I driving up the 101 to Palo Alto for graduation.

We did it.  As a family we made it work for my younger son to go to college.

Against this backdrop of joy, my professional life was filled with challenges, and not all good ones.  But ones that forced me to look at what I want, how I wanted to be treated and most importantly – what is important to me.

I learn from what I do. I learn from my mistakes, I learned that unless a strong enough challenge is presented to someone, he or she can’t grow.  Can’t define one’s point of view or what he or she stands up for. 

Now this all has me thinking about what is my legacy in the world going to be? 

 How do I want people to think of and remember me as?

Love is a Verb