Sixty Posts

Artwork for Education
J, age 10 School in California

Wow! It is hard for me to believe I have posted sixty entries.  Actually sixty one.

This month marks a year of me staying in this process of writing.  I know some months have not had so many entries, but I kept going.

Sometimes I was not sure what I wanted to say.  Sometimes I knew what I wanted to say and it was either too personal or I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go on record that I said that.

Either way, I am happy with my progress.  I am happy that I stuck it out.  This blog is one of the joys in my life. I love writing. I love thinking about writing and I love that I have a record of the whole year of my life.

I have found that if I just say what I feel, can relate to and have passion about, it comes through in the words.

I have discovered from seeing what I have written what is important to me.

Women’s rights, children’s rights, fashion, being present in one’s life, art , parenting and love.

Now that I have a year of writing under my belt will I continue the same way?

Do I want to try something new? Was the style I wrote in challenging enough for me?

Well, now I can think about those things.

For now I am going to dwell in the joy and happiness of having stuck with this project for a whole year.  Has it changed anything about me? I think so. It has helped me be clear about how I feel about many situations in my life: How I process change, Learn about my idiosyncrasies.

I think getting to tell some of my stories helps me heal, and hopefully gives my readers something to ponder. We learn from each other.

Ideas going forward: photos, words, thoughts. I don’t know.

I  like the open-endedness I have, it gives me creative freedom: I like that the best. I love thinking about the image and the quote that best support what the blog entry is about.  I love it. It works for me.

A scrupulous writer, in every sentence that he writes, will ask himself at least four questions, thus: 1. What am I trying to say? 2. What words will express it? 3. What image or idiom will make it clearer? 4. Is this image fresh enough to have an effect?

George Orwell (1903 - 1950), "Politics and the English Language", 1946

On the joy of little people (Young Children)

My life has been surrounded by lots of little people.  Little people being those between the ages of 2 and a half to three.

For the first time in a long time I am in a classroom.  Wow! What energy.  What beauty. What delicious presence of mind. Right here, right now.

I have always loved teaching. I feel like it just comes naturally.

But the babies, well it’s a new arena. And I love it. 

How do you teach two and a half  year olds?

Very gently.  Their brains are still developing, at a fast rate.

How do you inspire them to learn?

They love stories and storytelling dolls, using dolls to tell stories. Sing, move, laugh, love being in the moment with them. Ask them questions.  Wonder with them.

What kinds of things are interesting to two and a half year olds? Everything is interesting to a two year old.  They want to try everything, see everything, touch everything, do everything.

These are questions I ask myself. Before I just get in there and do it.

Do they like to sing? Yep, they sure do. it’s one of the best parts of the day.

Do they like to move? Yep they sure do.

Do they require patience?

Yeah, they do. don’t we all.  That doesn’t mean it’s easy, just yes.

One thing that I realize is important to two year olds is getting to do jobs – helping with things in the classroom.  They like to help, I think it gives them a sense of importance, of contributing.

The thing about young children, in my opinion is their brains are growing at such a fast rate, they are absorbing information and experiences.  They are learning to be automomous, to think for themselves, to be aware of themselves and others.  They are learning all the time: what they like and don’t like: colors, food, music, books… the list can go on.

Trusting Intuition

“One of the major causes of illness in our society is

ignoring our intuitions” -  I think this was Christianne Northrup from Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom

Mariposa corazon
acrylic on wood
2004

I have had the scrap of paper with those words on it in my bathroom for probably 13 years. 

I have heard it said that it is important to trust one’s gut instinct.  That animals pay attention to the signals they get when something doesn’t seem right: they run away from trouble.

But humans: oh no: this doesn’t feel right or something is wrong, but will do it anyway.  Like women that attract the wrong kind of man, and know it and do it anyway or do work that isn’t satisfying or don’t speak up for themselves when they know they should like me.

Well I think the principle of trusting one’s instinct can apply to many other situations in life.  However, that doesn’t make it easy. It can in fact make it harder. It means one speaks up when it’s tough, it means excepting responsibility for one’s actions, being willing to change and it can mean peace of mind (a good thing).

I find when I follow my heart or trust my judgement (another form of trusting my instincts) things are better for me. With regard to my children, I have found when I do pay attention to my instinct I make better choices for them and me.  When I work with children, I find trusting myself to pay attention to the details and my intuition has often been more successful than paying attention to my brain.

In daily life it is important to be centered as one navigates the terrain of different people and situations, from driving to work, stopping anywhere along the way, at work and on the way home. 

I have not always been good at trusting myself in regard to things related to me.  That has gotten me in some sticky situations. 

From a spiritual point of view,I think trusting one’s self is as important as breathing.  Paying attention to one’s self, how one feels on the inside and how one is processing whatever event is going on is healthy for the body and soul.  It’s when one doesn’t listen yucky stuff happens.  For some people dis-ease begins by not following one’s intuition, listening to one’s gut, trusting one’s self knowledge. And let’s face it, there isn’t a single person on the planet that hasn’t been in a challenging position with another person or persons.

I think a key to trusting one’s instincts has also to do with knowing one’s self.  When you know yourself, hopefully it makes one less inclined to do something not right. 

In the book the Secret, there is a page of quotes has to do with focusing so much on self growth that there is no time to judge or critize others.  I translate that to focusing on oneself to the extent one can trust one’s instincts and flow through situations and life.

Marianne Williamson wrote a book called AWoman’s Worth.  It is one of the few spiritual books I read from cover to cover.  Life is going to challenge us.  It is what we are here for.  How we do it is all up to us.

 Trust yourself.   Trust your intuition. Know your worth.

Statue at Ojai Foundation

Be Kind

“Drench yourself in self kindness.

Women  are very good at shining kindness outward, yet if you ask how kind they are to themselves, they often cry.

Turn the spotlight inward.

Before we can move to healthier ways, we must be where we are.

Radical self- acceptance is a connecting, soft, slow,

compassionate way of being.  We can help each other. When you see a friend beating up on herself, take her weapons away and just hold her.”

                                             From succulent wild woman by Sark

We are way too hard on ourselves sometimes. Me included. I guess it comes from wanting to always be perfect or not make mistakes. More so not wanting to make mistakes.  But sooner or later we all make one. Not intentionally. Sometimes we think we have a situation under control and discover we don’t.

The one thing a person can be in control of is how they respond. Saying I’m sorry, listening compassionately. These are things we want for ourselves. So we should give them. 

I have learned to step away from my computer when my son wants to talk to me. so that he sees I am focused and engaged in our conversation.  This is not always easy, I am sending email, checking balances and handling business. But he is also important.  I am learning to be a better listener.

The words above are inspiration for me.  I forget about being kind to myself.

And I know many women who also do the same thing. It a one day at a time thing, but definitely worth working towards. Be kind to yourself.

A Little Backsliding – it doesn’t do a body good - Day one again

Buddha
Ojai Foundation

I recently backslid on the eating better program.

It started with me being tired on a Friday night. Instead of dragging my behind into the gym, I said “doesn’t some fried fish and French fries sound good while I watch Fashion Police?” dreadful mistake.

Cause then the next night, it was wouldn’t a little rice dream frozen treat taste good? 

Well, it wasn’t much, but it was too much for me and it made me sick and weakened my tired immune system and triggered my allergies. So then I was sneezing and feeling bad and like I was going to descend into the old terrible eating patterns. 

My schedule has been very busy with all my new changes and going to the gym sort of slid onto the backburner…..but not too far.

I am picking myself up, dusting myself off and getting back on track. I have to acknowledge that sometimes too much of a good thing can be bad.  I was eating so well and so in charge that I had to see how bad I would let myself get.  And really I didn’t do anything really, really terrible that I can’t recover from. 

But it made me aware that I have to pay attention all the time.  I have to have my food prepared ahead of time and do the shopping and meal planning that has helped me be successful.

There is a saying that “you can’t rest on your laurels”.

I have made substantial progress in my eating and caring for myself plan: I can’t think that life is all good and I don’t have to work anymore.  I do. I do.  I do.

This reminds me I am human. Having a human experience. Food is my weakness. And I have to plan some treat days now, making sure I work extra hard in  the gym on those days.

I love the eating program I have become accustomed to. It helps me organize one of the most important aspects of my life: taking care of my body.  

Note: I will say the fried fish did taste good. Was it worth all the bother? No, not really, I was curious about how it would feel to eat something off limits, as anything deep fried should be.

The other stuff I ate, that I am not telling about, was it worth it? No.  And I won't do it again soon.

Fashion rules or fashion mistakes

Like most people, I have rules that I follow, strange though they may be.  Mostly they involve being kind to others, you know: treat others the way I want to be treated.  The rules I am specifically talking about are my fashion rules. 

Recently I was in a store that had a sale on long sleeve t-shirts.  I was buying one and had to decide on the color, was it red? Was it orange? White? Or black? Or green?

This is where the rule thing comes in to play:

I don’t wear red and green together: too Christmassy.

I don’t wear red and black together: just don’t like for me. 

Thus my conundrum.  I left without a new long sleeve t-shirt, because I wasn’t buying 2 and I couldn’t decide.  It made me realize about my fashion rules.   Sometimes I think I am so easy going about stuff and I am not. For example:  I am OCD about my workout shoes, I only wear them in the gym.  And gym clothes only in the gym. 

This made me come home and empty out my long sleeve t-shirt drawer to see what was in it and why I feel like I don’t have anything to wear.  I counted at least 4 grey  long sleeve t-shirts, a few black ones, three green ones (different shades), one orange one, one blue and white striped one, one red one (new) and one white one.  No wonder I feel like I have nothing, I have several shades of the same THINGS.

Back to the rules, my wardrobe used to consist of black and white and grey.  It worked.  Now I want to break out of that mold and be in living color.

Like Rome wasn’t built in a day, my wardrobe change won’t be either. 

I am experimenting.  Trying to be open to new possibilities and get myself out of the box. The rule box of choosing what colors I will wear together. 

I guess the first step in changing is taking inventory of what I have.  And then adding and playing with that.  Now that I know I have so many grey long sleeve t-shirts I won’t be buying any more.  I don’t think I will wear black and red together, why? When black and pink and black and green look so great together. Oh, new note: I don’t wear black and orange together either.  Just a thing.  It isn’t going to change.  I also don’t wear yellow.  Just doesn’t go with my skin color.

I am going to be more mindful of my color choices: actually gray goes with black, red, orange and green….. I might be on to something.

Colorful collage

You know it’ good when your son asks to learn the recipe

“You don't have to cook fancy or complicated masterpieces - just good food from fresh ingredients.”
Julia Child

clay food

This summer I had the experience of having my son want to learn how to cook one of the dishes that is a regular in the rotation in our house. 

It pleased me beyond measure to have him be interested in learning how to prepare a meal.  It meant that one day he could cook this dish for his friends, that maybe one day this might be a dish he prepared for his children.

I was so excited, I thought I would burst with joy and happiness.

He actually went shopping with me to purchase the ingredients.  And then when it came time to begin the cooking, he balked. He wanted to watch.

I said I would walk him through; the best way to learn was by doing.  I pulled out my cast iron dutch oven, poured some olive oil in it, put the onions in the pan and then he took over.

It was weird telling him how to prepare the Bolognese sauce that he loves so much.  I always make it the night before so the next day it is delicious, all the spices and sauce melded together.  I now pass on this tradition to my son.

It is the first one. And thus makes it special in my heart.

We cook for our children. Painstakingly preparing dishes we hope they will like: the pasta mama, the chicken curry, the teriyaki salmon, etc. These were popular dishes in our house.  It always cracked me up when there was a complaint that it wasn’t just right. And of course they wouldn’t eat it (another topic).

Food is an important memory of home and family.  Sitting around the table talking at dinner.  This was a bonding time with my sons, checking in, reflecting on the experiences we had each had in the day, telling jokes, the latest sports mishaps. 

And now, here I am, beginning to pass the recipes on. It was summer and thus too hot to bake so we didn’t get into making cakes or cookies, also his favorites.

But there is Thanksgiving Break when we do a traditional

dinner and dessert.

Back to making the Bolognese sauce, during the preparing time my son did get a little grumpy with me about the directions.

I have been making this sauce for so long, I do it by a pinch of this and little of that. How to pass that on?  Demonstrate.

Put the spices in his hands and let him feel it.

It doesn’t get any better than that. Teaching my child, my son, my young man person how to prepare a dish he has loved.  Now it is his. Like a giveaway, I have given him something that he can have with him forever.