Reflecting on Twenty Ten

While driving to work recently, I realized that 2010 is almost over.  So much happened to me that is beyond good or great.

In my head, a chorus sings “Hallelujah”, and I, I am bursting with love, joy and gratitude.  Not only did I survive my son’s senior high school year, he got everything he wanted and is on to the next journey in his life.  I also began the change.  I rode this colossal bittersweet wave of change on the surfboard of life.

I have so much to be thankful for.

I made mistakes on deadlines and filling out forms for my son.  I had a car accident. I was trying to begin my life as an adult woman and date.

I kept picking myself up and moving forward. I kept my eyes on a marker – not a finishing line and continued sprinting toward it.

My heart continues to burst.   Even in the midst of the challenges that I am facing, I feel so so so grateful for all the beautiful, warm and caring people in my life - I feel so thankful that I get to do what I love:  working with children.

I am giddy with joy and bursting with a desire to just be the best person I can.

I am learning to do nothing when I am not sure what to do and letting situations unfold.

I am working on myself.  I am doing my art.  I am being gentle with myself.  I am treating myself like someone that I like and want to be with. I am asking myself questions that I never asked before or thought to ask.

What does love mean to me?

How do I show the people I love that I love them?

How do I show love of myself?

I am valuing and treasuring my relationships and all of the people I interact with on a daily basis. I am treating people the way I want to be treated at least trying. 

In the mornings when I wake up, I think of as many things as I can to be thankful for. Hot showers, oatmeal with raisins, red lipstick, Uggs, soy ice cream, the gym, music, making art, hematite for grounding, green tourmaline for my heart chakra, beautiful children, laughter with colleagues, clarity, focus, discipline…. There is more but this is an auspicious beginning.

I am thankful for getting to express myself and letting out my joy.

Twenty ten – this year has been one of the best of my life.

I worked so hard. I didn’t give up, I pushed myself to the limits of my ability in everything. I tried new things, spurred on by a friend, I loved everyone I came in contact with (mostly) and really intended to be positive everyday.

The Prayer
Gouache on watercolor paper